He's not taken seriously as a footballer anymore. I know I don't. He's become a media circus and it's ridiculous. Shouldn't have ever left Madrid and he's suffering for it now in the form of injuries and a crap football league. Huge footballer!transfer mistake of the past five years number 3.

(Whether I'd be inspired to write as per this sort of thing is unknown. I can see a long-distance phonecall at 4:30 in the morning, a cigarette and a whisky glass in my near future, though.)